I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
