I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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