so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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