Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
