You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize