hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
