would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ladies don't puke and tell
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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