Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
honey bunches of taint.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
