Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
