so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
