I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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