I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
