i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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