yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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