Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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