i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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