conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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