We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
