Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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