Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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