Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
