your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
