WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
