That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
