You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
