I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
