Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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