I want to have your abortion
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i can't believe i had my finger in that
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
