Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
