Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
