loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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