please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
