There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
