omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There are leaves in my underwear?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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