Can Purell be used as lube?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
