flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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