yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
