why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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