I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
