I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
