And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
