Plan B is the new Plan A
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
