He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
