How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
