apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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