i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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