thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
