I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
