I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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