the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
