In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize