I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
